Yesterday I read an interesting post by Anthony Epes on the Digital Photography School site that resonated with me. Not because of the photography tips he gave, although they were excellent, but because it made me reflect on who I am. What ignited a deep, soul search contemplation of who I am were the quotes that were scattered throughout. The following are my reflections, or musing if you will, that were sparked by two of these quotes in particular.

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” Michael Law

An interesting group of words to consider. Perfectionism and fear. How many of us really reflect on ourselves using these two words? Recently, I was in a situation that required me to consider this very notion. Was I trying too hard to please others? What was the cost to myself and others? Was this really the right direction for me? Had a friend not drawn attention to this possibility, I might still be walking through a world of perfectionism without realising the hold fear had taken over me. A world which I was beginning to apprehend was negative, fixed and was leading to a path of disintegrating failure and exhaustion. This was not my life. It was not truly living. How did I become so fixated on doing things perfectly? In doing so, I had allowed fear to subconsciously creep in and take up residence.

Michael’s words reverberate in my mind like ripples from a stone thrown in a lake. I am fearful of making mistakes. I am fearful of disappointing others. I fear failure and at the same time I fear success. As a teacher, I want to empower my students to go beyond their fears, to embrace taking risks. Yet here I was, looking at myself from a new perspective and with each new concentric ripple of the circle, I realise the magnitude of my flaws. How could I truly inspire my students if I was consumed by fear in a negative way. Retrospectively, I could see it was the source of all my worrying. Left unheeded, the circle of apprehension was vast and was not losing momentum. If anything, it was certainly increasing. Somehow I needed to change the direction of the ripples in my pond. I was losing sight of who I was at the middle.

Reading on another quote stood out for me:

“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.” Henry Van Dyke

Ah-ha! Could this be it? Had I allowed myself to become complacent, self-satisfied or even smug with the success I was achieving? Had this success caused me to fear losing face if I make any mistakes? Would this really lesson who I was as a person if I did lose face a little? Was this a place I had put myself in or had others placed me there? I am not sure this particular question can ever be fully answered but I do realise that habits were definitely dictating my life but only because I was trying to play it safe. So I started to look a little deeper in to this particular ripple.

I enjoy positive feedback. Let’s face it, who doesn’t? The reality was I have become reliant on it, needing its validation almost as much as I needed air to breathe. The only problem was I do not think I was actually breathing anymore. Others no longer saw a need to praise my efforts because I was doing everything well. It was nothing new, why did they need to. As a consequence, I was not stretching myself. The habit of staying safe and doing things well without mistakes has diminished my drive for life, my inspiration, my creativity. Fear had taken over quite some time ago and I had not paused to realise. Henry was right. I needed a new dimension to my soul and I was not going to achieve it by playing it safe and continuing to do things as I always had.

Oddly at this point I might add that although I am beginning to see this new side to me, I also see and mostly feel the complete opposite daily. I feel I am a very innovative and creative educator constantly looking at new ways for students to learn. I regularly encourage them daily to step out of their comfort zone and to take risks. I inspire them to look outside the box for different alternatives or possibilities. What I realise I am not doing, is expecting the same of myself. And I should be. If I am to embrace being an educator with an innovator’s mindset, then I have to do this.
Defining moment: I am two sides of the same coin!

There are two perspectives, both with different aspects and facets.  I seek purpose and security. I am a perfectionist and I am fearful. The problem is, I have only looking at one side of the coin without seeing that both side can be balancing. When a coin is thrown in the air, it is a rotation of both sides – no decision has been made by the landing. This is the point that I need to be at. I want to keep my coin in the air. Not because I do not want to make a decision but because I want my life to be a combination of both sides. I was to find the harmony or balance between the two. I want to remember to see both sides of the coin. In order to make good decisions, I need to view both sides. I think I have forgotten to throw my coin in the air for quite some time. Instead, I have left it sitting on the table too fearful of seeing what was on the other side, waiting for someone else to throw it in the air. That is not their job. It is my coin, my life. The responsibility remains in my hands.

In Anthony’s post he stated “It doesn’t matter if what you do is terrible, just do it.” I will probably always have the fear Michael talked about deep within me but I really need to embrace it instead of running or hiding from it. Only through embracing what I fear, will I be able to see that attitudes and perspectives are everything. I need to practice what I preach and step out of my comfort zone and take risks. Only then will I discover new possibilities and inspiration. You never know, this might just be the turning point in my life. The flipping of the coin. I seek to be brave but to do that I will need to break old habits and find a greater balance in my life. To do this I need more of what life has to offer rather than focusing on teaching. For example: More sleep. More music. More tea. More books. More sunsets. More long walks. More laughter. More dreaming. More creating. More road trips. More opportunities to take photos. Perhaps if I let go and open up a little more, I may just find a new dimension to my soul.

I had no idea the direction this post would take, nor the discerning view I would end up with. What I do think is clear, is that we all need to take a moment and reflect on who we are. If we are to be the change in this world of ours, we must first look within. For only then can we truly be transformational and make a difference. Only then can we be genuinely innovative. When was the last time you took a moment to reflect on who you are? When was the last time you shook things up and stepped out of your comfort zone? Isn’t it about time we paused to consider these two questions!

 

If you are interested in reading the article I reference in today’s blog, you can follow this link: http://digital-photography-school.com/inspire-creativity/

 

Over the years, much has been said about mindsets. From fixed to growth; individual to social; and unproductive to creative. For me, mindsets are all about being innovative. We need to incorporate what Dweck calls a growth and positive mindset with that of the creative, confident thinkers who turn fear and envy into a driving advantage. I believe that in order to have an innovative mindset, one needs to express gratitude for what has passed before otherwise how do they learn?  We need to be grateful for the mistakes we make and the trials we struggle with because these are the experiences we learn from. If there is no experience, the rest is really just a barrage of information.

This revelation got me thinking about the innovative mindsets of three remarkable men: Michelangelo, Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison. The way they saw the world and the possibilities that could be created through divergent thinking is inspirational and one we need to remember. Let me crudely summarise how they shaped an innovative mindset:

At the age of 87, Michelangelo said “I am still learning.” He understood learning was lifelong and happened each and every day. So what did he do that demonstrated an innovative mindset? He did not follow the crowd and do what his competitors did. He took a chance and did things differently. He saw opportunities to create and innovate on what others were doing and went further than they believed you could go. Because of this revolutionary thinking, he forged ahead artistically and redefined both sculpting and painting.

Albert Einstein declared that problems could not be solved with the same thinking that was used when the problem was created. He understood that you needed to look beyond the obvious, to explore possibilities and embrace mistakes. Constantly questioning the world, enabled him to be the innovative and distinguished person we know him to be. He expressed that education was “not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.”

Thomas Edison did not see the world the same as others and appeared to struggle with ‘traditional schooling’. His teacher sent him home from school with a note saying he was mentally ill and was no longer allowed to attend school. When he asked, his mother read the letter to him saying “Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him and doesn’t have enough good teachers for training him. Please teach him yourself.” How fortunate that his mother saw something deeper in her son and did not share the original letter. Thomas went on to patent 1093 innovative inventions during his life, an achievement not equalled even today. He also knew the value of persistence and learning from mistakes. He is famously quoted as saying “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10 000 ways that won’t work.”

So what does having an innovative mindset mean for teaching, learning and life? Everything! We need to reflect on the innovative nature of these men. All three thought beyond their immediate adversaries and saw extraordinary possibilities and were willing to give it a try. They saw the need for constant questioning. They realised the benefits of persistence in order to overcome a defect. As educators and learners, we need to go beyond what everyone else is doing. We need to think not only outside the box but beyond it by looking for something unique that could make profound and pioneering changes. Change can be an overwhelming challenge but I think Chandor sums it up by saying “When it feels scary to jump, that’s exactly when you jump. Otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.” I for one do not what to end up in the same place forever. I want to make a difference, however small.

Michelangelo, Albert and Thomas, I thank you for leading the way and showing us potentialities and giving us the confidence to try ourselves also. Therefore, I am actively embracing an innovators mindset and I am so excited for the journey ahead.

Somehow I feel we have lost sight of what learning is. When did it become all about achieving results? Did we not start learning the minute we were born? Every minute since our birth, we have been constantly learning, constantly making mistakes, constantly making adjustments and refining what we know. What would have happened if we gave up after falling over when taking our first steps? A silly notion really but we certainly did not give up on achieving our goal – we persisted until we achieved that goal. However, our learning did not end there! Did we then not learn how to run, jump, and hop?

Over the years I have seen students who focus on the end result, what grade they will get, who they are better than and how easy it was. Then there are those who struggle and persist just as they have learnt to do from birth. They thrive on the challenges they face and strive to solve problems in unique ways. Which students do you think make the better progress?

I have been inspired by Carol Dweck’s ideas around Growth Mindset as well as Guy Claxton’s Learning Powers. There is something in both of their views that ring true to me. It resonates around the process of learning and not the end result. It is the student who learns to focus with a positive attitude when faced with adversity that will achieve in life. They are doing what they have always done and do not give up once a result has been achieved. They are constantly reflecting on the process of their learning and constantly making adjustments, or improvements if you will.

Learning is not work. Nor is it a chore.

Learning IS continuous! It is all about process and requires persistent struggle.

Learning is developed through what Guy Claxton refers to as the four R’s: resilience, resourcefulness, reflectiveness and relating to others. Carol Dweck defines that skills can be developed through effort and hard work while embracing challenges. Both believe that feedback is fundamental in identifying areas to improve in order to know themselves as learners. Setbacks are opportunities.

Should learning be rebranded? I believe it can and must. The focus should not be solely on the student, but on families also. Teachers can only do so much to encourage the process of learning. Sometimes it feels like an uphill battle. This battle is not with the parents or the students. The battle lies in our attitudes towards learning and what is rewarded: grades or process? Until we make headways with this argument, I am uncertain we can we can change the heading of education. What I can do, is change the way learning is viewed in my classroom.

For me, I am rebranding learning for students to value the process of learning greater than the grades they receive. I am rebranding learning so they are actually learning, not just working. Learning that celebrates the mistakes made and the possibilities of many solutions. Here’s hoping it will make a difference to the students in my care!